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Big Salsa Drama

Unfortunately, drama seems to be quite the necessity in every salsa scene. It rears its ugly head here in Bakersfield just like anywhere else. There have been quite a few instances in the past few months in which I've felt momentarily inspired to write about one thing or another. The problem is that I always stay too busy to finish my thought process. However, this morning's events merit my attention.

I have been experiencing a constant flow of what I've affectionately dubbed "salsa drama" for the past three or four months. It's annoying, but I guess if you want to have a salsa scene, you take the good with the bad. Today I was pushed over the edge. Rather than react with anger or bitterness, I'm going to share this one experience in the hopes that someone will come across it someday and think twice before bringing whatever chips they are carrying on their shoulders into the salsa world. I could share much juicier drama than this particular case, but this is a bit more appropriate since it only involves me and one other person.

I'm removing names, renaming places, and omitting anything that might infer names or places to maintain anonymity. Here goes.

A long time ago, I visited a particular website to check on whether or not there was a salsa scene in a particular city. It was not my hometown, but a place I pass through from time to time or might be willing to visit for dancing. To minimize confusion, let's call the city Salsaville and the website SalsaNet. When I checked to see if there was any information on the website, there was indeed. Someone had provided the following information:

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Salsa in Salsaville

We are currently trying to start a "Salsa Night" in Salsaville someplace. If you are interested in helping, or participating, you can contact [deleted].

We will email you, and keep this site updated for anything we can drum up!

- [deleted]
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Reading this, I concluded, fairly reasonably in my opinion, that there wasn't much at all going on. As time passed, I met someone that lived in Salsaville. They told me about all kinds of salsa events and dancing in their town. I went. and I had a great time! I actually make a point of going at least once a month. It's a fabulous scene. I didn't think about it for several months. Then last week, preparing for another trip, I started looking on SalsaNet for information on a different city. I found what I was looking for. but I stumbled across the Salsaville information again. And I wondered how many people were reading that and giving up on looking for salsa in that city. So I decided to get in touch with the person listed as the contact on the website.. by clicking the link provided on the website.

I wrote the following email:

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[deleted],

I understand that you are the SalsaNet correspondent for Salsaville. As I'm sure you're aware, the SalsaNet site for Salsaville is very out of date and inaccurate. Any particular reason why you haven't been updating it?
Are you open to having someone else help you out with the site?

SalsaNet is a very well-known site that a lot of people visit. The Salsaville salsa scene deserves to be adequately represented so that salseros that visit Salsaville or move there have a good idea of where they can dance and meet other salseros. Also, potential new salseros that are already in Salsaville may search the web for opportunities to dance, see the site, and decide that it's not worth looking into further.

I just wanted to see if you were still involved in the scene and still actively promoting salsa. If you are, please do update that SalsaNet site. If not, I'm sure that someone else in the scene would be willing to step up and take over the good work that you started.

Thanks,
Darius
darius@bigsalsa.com
http://www.bigsalsa.com
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Looking back on this first email, I can concede being a bit direct. Maybe I should have asked how their day was going. Really, it was a 5-minute email that I wrote and then I forgot about it. Actually, I have gotten several emails like this in the past about some of my websites which I had completely neglected or forgotten over the years. In those situations, I always did at least one of three things:
1) Update the website
2) Shut down the website
3) Transfer ownership of the website to someone else

That's what happens when you put your name on the internet - you get contacted. As a matter of fact, I STILL get a few emails here and there about websites that I haven't been affiliated with for years.

Enough about that. Here are the responses I received a few days later:

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Dear Darius,

Your understanding is correct. I am the contact person for the SalsaNet. If you are willing to read to read the requirements on the site for posting updated information...by all means, do it and email to me and I will make sure it gets posted. As far as a reason as to why it hasn't been updated is complicated and needs not explanation. My email address is on the site and any and EVERY person interested in visiting our Salsaville area to join in our salsa scene is sent an up to date list of all events and locations including lessons and instructions list at their request. ALL a salsero or salsera has to do is click on my email address and I forward a news letter to them. Please be asured that the SALSERO'S in our wonderful SalsaNet area are not being neglected and are being directed to ALL of the events [omitted].

It is very worthy of you to email me but make no mistake that all requests from AROUND THE WORLD are given ALL information of our salsa scene events.

It sounds to me like you want to "Step Up" as you put it quote by quote and would be willing to take over the job. Contact the site owner and express your concerns but for the mean time I am and always treat and respect all inquires and leave no inquiry un attended.

Salsa is my life and a life that I enjoy to share. Salsaville is on the map because I requested it be put in the [omitted] when I first moved here two years ago from the [omitted].

Very Truly Yours,
-[deleted]
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I just sent you an email regarding this matter. On the SalsaNet site is a list of requirements in order to [omitted]. Please follow them closely and I will see if it can be posted. Remember, the [omitted] must be in order etc.,

It sounds like you are a lover of salsa however in the future, please to do not address me with demands. I am a very loving and caring and giving salsera however I also believe in respect.

Thank you.
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At this point, I did have some of my questions answered. But I could tell that this person was taking my inquiry way out of context. No big deal. I suppose I might do the same thing under the right circumstances. I didn't want any bad blood, so I decided to write a more thorough email explaining myself and my original purpose. Maybe I should have just left this person alone. I mean, after all it's not even my hometown! But the salsa missionary in me felt like I had been misunderstood and nothing had been resolved. so I wrote back.

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Hi [deleted].

Thanks for responding. Hopefully you won't be as defensive when I clarify my position. I have not made any demands. If you will reread my original email, you will find that I was simply inquiring about the status of your involvement with the salsa scene and making you aware of my take on the website. At one point, I made a request, as a salsero that has been misled by the website, that you update it. That comes with the territory when you sign up to be a correspondent. People contact you with concerns, issues, requests. I'm terribly sorry that you took it out of context. I meant you no disrespect. However, my original request still stands - and with all due respect, I'd like to clarify my position and restate the problem candidly.

I think you have misunderstood my email. I am not living in Salsaville, nor am I suggesting or volunteering myself to take over the responsibilities for the [omitted] site. I drive up every month or two to dance. I am simply noticing that the website does not accurately reflect the activity of the Salsaville salsa scene.
I'm glad to hear that you have a newsletter to forward to interested salseros. However, it took me being concerned about things to find that out. The website does not say anything about a newsletter. It doesn't even say that there is dancing going on in Salsaville. Imagine yourself as a brand new dancer looking for salsa. You read the following:
________________
We are currently trying to start a "Salsa Night" in Salsaville someplace. If you are interested in helping, or participating, you can contact [deleted].
We will email you, and keep this site updated for anything we can drum up!
- [deleted]
________________
To me, it seems like there is nothing going on - that you are trying to start something somewhere. It does say that you will keep the website up to date. So I assume that what's written is all that's going on. All that I'm suggesting is something to let people know that salsa is alive and well in Salsaville. I'm aware of the requirements. I am a former correspondent for [omitted]. As I said before, I'm not trying to submit events, take over the site, etc. That's for someone else to do - and I'm sure there are plenty of people that are willing to do that. If you don't wish to put the energy into actually listing the classes and places to dance so that people can easily access it without contacting you, that's your right as a correspondent. However, I don't see what the harm would be in altering the three sentences you have online to reflect the fact that salsa is actually happening and that information IS available via a newsletter. That would probably increase the number of requests you get.
Please don't take my email as a hostile takeover attempt. I have absolutely no interest in taking over your responsibilities - believe me. My motivation is a healthy salsa scene throughout the [omitted]. I am impressed with Salsaville everytime I go and I would just like to see it accurately represented on SalsaNet. As a salsero who travels quite a bit, I know how valuable it is to have information easily accessible and readily available. For most wandering salseros/salseras, SalsaNet is THE first site that they look to when traveling. They go there even before google and other search engines. Trust me - I've seen the statistics. For those who aren't familiar with [omitted] or the Salsaville scene in general, they may misinterpret what you've written (as I did) and think that there is no salsa in Salsaville. So now that I've heard from you and know that you're still active in the scene, I'm sure you'll understand a bit better why I feel the scene would benefit from a more up-to-date, accurate representation online. Again, thanks for responding. I'm sure that you're as caring and loving and giving as you say. I too dedicate a very large portion of my free time to teaching, promoting, and dancing salsa. In no way have I intended to attack your character, credibility, or worth. I don't even know you - I've only seen the website. We're playing for the same team here - I hope I've made that clear.

Sincerely,
Darius
darius@bigsalsa.com
http://www.bigsalsa.com
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The very existence of this article gives away the shocking twist that this person did not take my second email very well. I won't try to defend the tone I took or the words that I used. I'm only going to say that I've read over it a couple of times (before and after the fact) and I'm satisfied that I said what I meant to say and I don't believe that any of it was inappropriate. So now, the responses (this person doesn't ever just send one email):

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Mr. Darius I did not take your email out of context. What do you mean when you say "That comes with the territory when you sign up to be a correspondant." I DID NOT SIGN UP AS A CORRESPONDANT! I asked about the Salsa location in Salsaville and I was listed on the site. Like I said if you have any questions and/or concerns DO NOT send me any of your insinuations and indirect rude comments. If you would like the site updated and as I mentions in my last email, read the requirements and UPDATE the site yourself.

I do not appreciate your email and am very saddened my year anger and calling your self a Salsero! Salsa is a love of dance and to enjoy oneself as well as to share the love of the dance to others
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One, more thing...If you would have clicked on my email address and requested a list of salsa location (like every one else does) I would have sent you the Salsa Newsletter.

Happy dancing and I mean HAPPY dancing.
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I can't decide if this is reminiscent of Jr. High or High School. First, there's the contradiction as to who I should be contacting. In the first email, I was told that yes, I was correct that this person was the contact. Now in this latest batch, they deny all responsibility. However, I've learned the hard way that pointing out contradictions and inaccuracies is not the best way to make friends with an irrational person. The second, slightly less obvious problem with this person's logic is that they expected me to email them and request a list of salsa locations. like everyone else. Last I checked, I was far from stupid. Scroll back up and read what's on the website. I didn't add anything or take anything away. That's EXACTLY what it said . and still says! Now, should I have inferred that the person listed as the contact in case I wanted to "help or participate" in the "Salsa Night" "someplace" . the person who would, according to the words on the page, keep the site updated. should I have inferred that this person would actually send me a SALSA NEWSLETTER??? Well, no sense in arguing about those things. Instead, I take the bait and have a personal conversation with the person. You can tell it's personal because I don't have nearly as much to delete, rename, and omit.

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Ok [deleted].

I see you are determined to take this personally. If that's the case, we won't be able to resolve this. This will be my last attempt.

What I meant by that remark is that when your name is listed as a contact, you should expect to be contacted. If you don't wish to be contacted, you should probably have your name removed. I will not apologize for contacting the person that was listed as the contact on the site. The fact that we're discussing this at all proves my point - the information online is misleading and inaccurate. That's ALL that I've been trying to say. If you're not the person to talk to about that, you should have your name taken down. Of course another alternative would be to politely respond to inquiries about the site and put people in touch with those that ARE responsible for it. I had no way of knowing any of that.

I voiced my concerns to you without anything implied or indirect. If you felt that there was something rude underneath it all, that's a fabrication of your own. That's unfortunate because there are entirely too many people on the salsa scene that take things personally. Really... what reason would I have to be rude to you?
That's fine that you don't appreciate my email. I don't know why you think I am angry with you. You've stated your opinion, so here's mine: You're overreacting.

I'm well aware of what salsa is about. As a matter of fact, what your own idea of salsa is why I wrote to you initially - I think an important piece is sharing with others. I'll ask you again to refrain from making this personal. I had no idea that you were not responsible for updates to the site. You didn't make that clear in your first response and it's certainly not clear on the website.

I'm not doubting that you would have sent me a list of events. I don't need the list. I know what's going on. I'm concerned about others. Do you think that someone in Salsaville for the weekend would read the site and email you? It's possible, but the odds are low. I just want more people to dance. It's that simple.
I have nothing against you [delete]. Perhaps it would be better to continue this later on when you can read what I'm saying objectively. I hope that we have not become enemies before even meeting. Take a step back. It's not worth it to have that type of negative energy between fellow salseros.

Darius
darius@bigsalsa.com
http://www.bigsalsa.com
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I have not heard from this person since that last correspondence.

I really hope that I just caught the person on a bad day. I've been very involved in the "administrative" side of salsa since shortly after I started dancing. Only once before have I been greeted with this sort of hostility. I won't go into detail, but here's the short version:

I was in a salsa class (as a student). The instructor was playing BARRY WHITE as salsa dance music. Yes, I know who Barry White is, and yes, that's what the instructor was playing. Now, I know good salsa music can be good to come by. So after the class, I offered to give the instructor some of my music to see if they liked it. Yes, it was my underhanded way of hijacking the class - hoping that they would hear real salsa and throw out the Barry White. not that it's not good music. It's just not salsa! I had made the same offer on several occasions to other instructors and it was never a big deal. Instructors usually LOVE to get new music. Anyway, this particular instructor bit my head off. About a year later, that same instructor came to one of my salsa classes and afterwards apologized for what happened. They told me that they were just insecure about their abilities at the time. They couldn't dance to up-tempo salsa music and they deliberately used slow music in their class to cover their weakness. The students didn't know any better. We got to be pretty good friends.

I don't know what sort of issues this "SalsaNet" person might have, but I do hope that the tension between us dissolves quickly.

I'm sharing this experience to illustrate the second biggest danger to the salsa culture. The biggest danger is the mixing of Reggaeton and Spanish Rock in salsa clubs, but that's for another article. As I was saying, salsa drama is the second biggest threat. This is a pretty special case, but I see it all the time. It comes from people assuming that others have something against them (when they've never even spoken). It comes from people assuming that someone is trying to steal their significant other. It comes from people being insecure and having all sorts of social complexes that they act out on fellow salseros. In the most severe cases, people end up leaving the scene. That always angers me. One less person to dance with. over nonsense.

The dance floor is the place to escape all the pressures of everyday life. It is usually those that cannot keep their problems off of the dance floor that end up starting salsa drama. In fact, you'll find that the perpetrators are often salsa snobs (see my Salsa Snobs article). It's worth it to avoid salsa drama at all costs. Please, if you know that you're prone to causing drama, at least go back and pick up the pieces. Salsa is too beautiful to be corrupted by such silly, worldly, human tendencies.

That's all I have to say. for now.