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A Salsera's Nightmare

by Anonymous

Here's an email I got from a salsaholic friend of mine... Pay attention guys - we don't often get to hear what the ladies are REALLY thinking about us. I'm editing the message slightly (*****) to protect the innocent... and the guilty. Maybe after reading this, you'll believe me about the importance of timing and proper leading. They may smile and giggle while you're jerking them all over the dance floor, but here's what they say after the dance is over! 

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Darius,
You're going to get one rant of an email, so if you're not in the mood, this is your warning to save this one for later.

So I went last night to the Tuesday night place that I had attended last time I was out here---the one with a small but fierce group of On2 dancers--in hopes of finding them again.  Of course, they were NOT there, but then I noticed that the dude that taught the ***** class Saturday was there, groupies in tow.  He was dancing with a girl that I assume is also in the company, though I don't know if it was ***** or not.  At any rate, he and his crew proceeded to lord over the club by sitting on the stage up front and looking disgustedly at everyone.  The guy recognized me and said hi, but neither he nor the other guys in his crew bothered to dance with anyone but the 2 girls they had brought with them...and I recognized a few of the other students in the class show up, who they also refused to dance with and sent the poor people off together to dance.  I was pretty disgusted, despite the fact that their dancing was great (the company).  To top off my supreme disappointment in their behavior, I spent most of 2 hours dancing with maybe every guy in the room who could NOT dance to the music.  I must be unlucky.  And then the DJ started to mix the songs, so there was no clear end, and I would get stuck dancing with some guy for like 4 songs before I couldn't take it anymore and just said thanks and walked off.  Everyone was really into dipping and doing some ridiculous thing where they squat on the ground (the guy) with his arms somewhat around the girl's leg and the girl is
supposed to do something...though I never figured out what.  Any ideas?  I settled for shaking my ass. lol  And the guys were literally throwing me out on turns into other people. Repeatedly.  I can see it happening at some point, but continuing to throw me out hard enough to make me lose my balance into the same crowd of other dancers was pissing me off.

Thank YOU for reading this rant.  I left the place by 11:30.  My poor roommate asked me about my night this morning and she looked at me with glazed eyes as I ranted about my terrible night.  Needless to say, I learned my lesson that non-dancers really have no interest in hearing about bad dancing etiquette.  I knew you would understand.  I think perhaps that I am just too spoiled by dancing with you.  And as far as issues with dancing with strangers--I am not absolving my own share of blame for things that go wrong on the dance floor, but this past night was out of control!  I would even try dancing on 1 or 2 or switch back and forth in an effort to make sense of someone's timing...but when neither works...TROUBLE.  And when someone who can barely lead a cross-body and then tries to drop me into some crazy dip-turn or something...that's injury waiting to happen. lol

Funny sidenote: One guy in particular ***... was .... really fast (and got progressively faster), hard throws, and an extremely limited arsenal of moves.  And did I mention speed!  I had to hold in my laughter, it was uncanny.

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